Five to Thrive and the LIFE Model

The LIFE Model was developed originally in response to the observation that many people in recovery from traumas, addictions, cults and sexual abuse became bogged down in recovery. The recovery process took over their attention, focus, finances, time, and energy and became their life. At the same time it was obvious that they, their marriages and families were not usually thriving.  The desire to see people thriving again (or for the first time) gave impetus to the development of the LIFE Model. Careful observation of the differences between those who were glad to be alive and those who were only getting by eventually identified five major factors needed to thrive.

  1. All people need a place to belong. Even our mental reality starts from a relational perspective. We need to be with our people to thrive.
  2. The interactions with our people need to give us life rather than injure or kill us. We also need to be life-giving in our treatment of others. We need to receive and give life.
  3. The most resilient people are not those who never have anything go wrong in their lives but rather those who can bounce back when things go wrong. Those who are able to maintain their relationships and regulate their emotions (stay synchronized) when things are going wrong recover quickly.
  4. Each day and stage of growth should find us becoming more complex and interesting than we have been. Trauma blocks maturity and recovery must restore maturity if we are to thrive.
  5. Although we must belong like everyone else, and receive and give life like everyone else, and recover from things that go wrong like everyone else and mature like everyone else, we must become individuals like no one else. Through our hearts we come to know ourselves as God sees us and to know God as well.

Thriving is the applied LIFE Model to life. While you will find more about it in the many books, videos, training materials and resources on this site, the most direct way to retrain your brain to thrive is found in the exercises developed for the THRIVE - Changing My Generation training.