Return to Joy
Returning to joy means finding a resolution to the distress we feel when our “personally important” people are not happy to be with us. Strangely enough, this requires someone to share our distress with us and achieve a “mutual mind” state with our control center. (For details on how this is done see Training the Control Center.) When someone cares enough about us to share our distressing feelings and still be with us we no longer feel alone. Our brain starts to run smoothly again and we start learning helpful ways to stay in relationships when we are upset or others are upset with us.
There are six major distressing emotions to be mastered in relationships. These are:
When these emotions overwhelm us and we are left alone to deal with them we are traumatized. (See Trauma.) Trauma recovery often involves finding someone to share these overwhelming experiences so we are no longer alone in them. (See Trauma Recovery.)
We learn to act like ourselves when we are upset by sharing these six feelings with someone who can remember their bond to us is more important than how upset they feel at the moment. These experiences are also stored in the brain’s control center for use the next time we are upset. When we can quickly calm ourselves, stay in relationship and act like the same person we are when we are glad to be with others during each of the six unpleasant feelings then we have learned our return to joy skills. These skills are being developed by THRIVE training and other applications of the Life Model.