who do you trust?
For two weeks now I am a person you are supposed to trust. I am an ordained minister. Just 11 years ago I spent much of my time partying and going through the motions of life. I lived carefree and careless. I wasted countless hours lost in a sea of complacency. It’s difficult to grasp all that has happened in the last one-third of my life but ordination reminds me that God moves. Now that I’m official I can’t help but ponder the question, what makes a pastor trustworthy? Why do I believe I can be trusted to counsel your wife, pray with your children and have the youth group in my house?
Just like you I have read about lots of ministers that could not be trusted. I recently read an article on msnbc about the minister of a mega church in Georgia who years ago slept with his brother’s wife. The woman then became pregnant with a boy. For 34 years this boy and everyone else believed he was this man’s nephew until a DNA test revealed the boy, now a man, was his son! The son is now the minister over the congregation that formerly was led by this man. For years everyone believed the young pastor was the nephew of the former minister when, in truth, it was his son. There’s more debauchery to the story. Now I am a minister and why should you think I will be different?
Here is a glimpse of what I have been doing these past 11 years that has radically transformed my life. I have practiced the 19 character skills I also teach as part of THRIVE that let me be a better husband, son, friend, brother, uncle, counselor, pastor and one day, father. I utilize the effectiveness of the Immanuel process that is part of Skill 13 to heal past wounds. I rely on my people to address painful gaps in my maturity. I receive unbridled feedback and accountability from friends and community. I pay attention to my maturity; accomplishments, gaps, problems and all. I take advantage of the resources God has given me and use each day to grow, learn and love. There is great work to be done and much trust to be earned. I think that the right hemisphere relational skills I have learned are every bit as important to a minister’s leadership as their spiritual beliefs. Without healing and maturing, theology and gifts will not be enough to keep me from using my position of trust as a pastor for my own pleasure and power.
Chris M. Coursey